Twilight: First Discovery

Here we are in week two of Twilight Month. Feeling nauseous yet?



Exactly like this one.

When I first discovered Twilight I was in Barnes and Noble. I saw pins on almost every single employee's shirt (I really hope it was a uniform requirement at the time, because the 60+ male employee wearing one disturbed be a bit).

I did some research and found it was actually rather popular. So, either I had been living under a rock this whole time, or the popularity exploded right around the time Breaking Dawn was released. I'm actually more likely to believe the former, since I'm not exactly a well-connected person.



She's having a conversation with the dial tone.

I picked up a copy of Twilight because, even then, I was looking to get published, and I'm sure the CEO of Burger King eats at McDonald's for the very same reason: He has to know what's popular and why.

At around this time my family was a part of the Science Fiction Book Club and they were offering all four books at a great price. So, naturally, I figured why not just get the whole bundle and knock them all out at once? So I did, giving my copy of Twilight to a friend because I'm awesome like that, though had I known about the series' evil nature I probably would have burned the first book and warded off the next three with a cross.

Back! Back you evil series!

At the time angsty, dark teen stories with vampires were pretty much impossible to find (unless I was still under a rock) so I was actually, legitimately interested Twilight. "Okay, Bella is sorta clumsy, I can identify with that," I thought to myself. Yeah, sorta interesting. But then it went on.

And on.

And on.

And on.

By the time I was done with Twilight I was ready to stake myself


Obviously not me, I'm way hotter than that.

Instead I decided to suck it up and read New Moon, ended up in the hospital after finishing it with self-inflicted injuries of palm-to-forehead application, then started on Eclipse, woke up in a puddle of motor oil and grass shavings, then finally finished Breaking Dawn with enough brain cells to rub together to realize that maybe that as a mistake.

One of my most vivid memories of reading it was probably the introduction to the sparkling. I honestly heard nothing about it so was totally unprepared. I read the whole foresty glen scene where he walks into sunlight and....then sort of stopped.



My actual face upon reading it.

I snorted, rolled my eyes, and never took it seriously after that. The sparkling was the first nail in the coffin that only rolled downhill from there gathering no moss to fish for a lifetime (I think I still have some residual brain damage from reading it.)

But, a couple years later, I would start to learn that, like anything, Twilight has its enjoyable upsides.

...Which you're going to have to wait a week to learn.