So You Already Wrote a Novel

Let's say you've already written a novel, (and you're not, say, procrastinating editing and making blog posts instead) you've got the easy part out of the way. Let's even assume you even have either a publisher lined up or have chosen to self-publish. Those were really the only two things I had ever focused on, between daydreaming of being a royal queen of published books.



I tried looking up an image with the search "Queen" but all I got was Queen Victoria. I then did "Queen -Victoria" but, after more pictures of Queen Victoria and the band Queen, I gave up and chose Lil' Bub.

Once I started down the road to publishing Dusted, I was suddenly hit with all of these little things in the way, all of them I hadn't prepared for at all. So, as a result, I have decided to give you what I call So You Already Wrote a Novel, or SYAWAN, for short (which also happens to be a place in India.)

Anything related to SYAWAN (if you're having trouble saying it, I suggest "see-ya-wan") will detail the little things that you may or may not be expecting on your own road to get published. They're things that you want to at least keep in mind on the road to getting published, but you don't want to get caught up in fantasizing about instead of actually writing a novel. I suggest when you're about 3/4ths of the way through the final edit of your already written novel.

The subjects will include:

The blurb
The cover
Advertising your book

And anything else I happen to think up later on.

In Which I Try to Take a Photo

My author photo is technically some random picture I grabbed from a folder on my computer, so I decided I wanted an updated one.

The problem with this is that I am not a photogenic person. My face is red all the time and incredibly shiny, studded with the occasional post-teen acne. I more closely resemble a photogenic strawberry than a human being.



Me, circa 2008.

That doesn't even include the fact that I have such consistent and horrible red eye in photos (4 of 30 didn't have red eye) that I'm starting to wonder if I made a pact with a demon that I'm not aware of, and that is the reflection of my lost soul shining through.

He gave me a Klondike bar in return.

Anyway, I decided to look up some author photos to get an idea of what one would be like so I don't look too much like a sociopath trying to sell a book. I found that the process is harder than it looks according to these links: Here, Here, and Here.

So, with some good advice, but a terrible piece to work with, this is what I have ended up with.

My Blurry Torso

Probably the most photogenic out of all 30. This was the first picture, of which I accidentally pressed the button while trying to get the timer to work.

I Just Woke Up (or maybe I'm drunk)

This is the most "Natural" of the pictures. If my family ever needs to provide a photograph of me for the police when I'm on the lam, this one will work pre- and post-arrest. (I was actually seeing if I chose a good spot for the camera to be.)

That Generic Photo of a Distant Relative

 

You know the one I'm talking about. This is the photo of your mom's cousin who was at their wedding and you only met her once: at a family reunion when you were five. For some inexplicable reason this photo is in your family's dusty photo album from the 80's, and every other family member's photo album also from the 80's.

Lobster Face

 

 

My hair looks great, I have a nice smile, my eyes aren't even that bad. Except it looks like I faceplanted into a pot of boiling water. I get a lot of grief from people accusing (yes, accusing) me of blushing, to the point where it can almost break out in an argument as I try to claim that I have sensitive skin. It can be triggered by almost anything: laughing, crying, too warm, and yes, even just smiling.

 

In Which I Dress in Black

 

 

Okay now we're getting somewhere. Black has always been a good color for me (as much as I like to pretend blue is), and my dad once used the term "70's Goth" to describe the way I dress on occasion. However, my hair seems to be a bit zany. I think it's reaching out to sink some ships, much as a Kraken would.

 

I didn't quite get the picture I was looking for, but I did learn a lot so that next time I'll be better prepared (and, I hope, will help you, too.)

 

1. Use a nicer camera.

 

I always thought my camera was pretty fancy. Then again, I'm using it as a basis for cameras I've had in the past, only one of which comes to mind, and that was a camera I got for mailing in some proofs of purchase to Kraft Macaroni and Cheese back in the early 90's. The images were far more grainy than I thought, and for some reason sometimes I get blurry shots even if the camera is motionless, and what looks like water spotting.

 

2. Wear what looks good on you.

 

I followed all of those tips in the links I provided, which said to wear long sleeves and a neckline. I have no idea what they meant by neckline, so I wore what sounded right. It wasn't until I pulled out a favorite of mine, a black turtleneck, that I started seeing the best pictures of me. I've always known I look nice in a black turtleneck, so if you think something looks good on you, chances are, it does. Use it.

 

3. Use good lighting

 

Our house has really dim lighting, I think it was originally owned by vampires. Animals eyes glow from a tapetum lucidum layer in their eyes, red eye in photographs is caused by a human's lack of that, and what you're actually seeing are the blood vessels in the eye blah blah I'm not sciencey enough to be 100% accurate (I suggest you look it up yourself). Better lighting reduces red eye.

 

4. Be comfortable

 

That is said in all of those other links, but it bears repeating. Their tips were "Don't pose" but, by not posing, I found myself being uncomfortable. What is posing anyway? By not posing I can't help but feel like I'm in a Police lineup. They say smile, but my face gets twitchy waiting for the timer to finally go off, and my face gets red from using any facial muscles whatsoever.

 

How did I get comfortable? Well, honestly, I'm wearing big, baggy, blue sweatpants in all of those pictures.

 

 

How To Properly Fold a Paperback

I've talked about book sizes before, and I'm making the assumption people are smart enough that they can tell the obvious difference between a hardback book and a paperback.



Please don't be stupid readers, please don't be stupid readers...

My dad has always been a strong supporter of hardbacks. They're better, stronger, and last much longer.

Wait, am I describing hardback books or Lee Majors?

There are reasons, however, that you will choose a paperback over a hardback. It's cheaper, you want it to match the rest of the series, or, most likely, it is only available in paperback.

 

Let's back up for a minute.

 

It used to be that pretty much all books were released as hardback, a year later the book was released as paperback. I've mentioned before that the Young Adult genre boom the last decade has been primarily responsible for paperbacks in sizes other than mass market. I also seriously think YA is also the main cause for the release of paperback-exclusive books.

 

The problem with paperbacks is that they get pretty mutilated before too long. I generally keep mine in good condition, but sometimes I end up with poorly-maintained paperbacks by purchasing them used. It's no big deal though, if I wanted a mint-condition paperback copy of something, I would get it. However, there are times when I see where something has had the spine bent in such a way that it actually hampers reading, because the pages are trying too hard to slap back and I spend more time fighting with the book than reading it.

 

So, here's an example of two books I have purchased used.

 

Every surface I have is hyper-reflective.

 

The one on the left has all kinds of cracks down it. If you insist on doing that, make multiple cracks like this throughout the book. (I was going to use an example of a badly bent one, but I couldn't find it. It, however, has only a single crack in the center of the book, and both halves always try to come together over and over.) The right book, meanwhile, has a smooth spine. Cracks or not, there's a reader-friendly way of folding some paperbacks. I say "some" because not all will have this feature.

 

"OMG KAWAII DESU NE!" *slap!*

Here is my example book. You can't see what I'm talking about very well so here it is highlighted with a professional piece of software that cost thousands of dollars.


Okay, MS Paint.

On the left side of the book is an indented crease. This crease is intentional and made for the very reason I'm about to show you.





Take the book and, with the thumb of your left hand, press down on the left side of the crease. With your right hand on the backside of the front cover (not the back of the book!) push it open. Here is a top view of what you will be doing. You are generally going to be pushing it so that it is 90 degrees to the pages of the book.

 

If she's using both her hands...THEN WHO WAS CAMERA!?

 

Work your way slowly from the top of the book to the bottom.

 

 



Next, turn the book backwards and upside down, like you've never seen a book before in your life.



"It be for crushin' rats, right?"

Fold if just as you did the front part, working your way toward yourself.



"I am aware the cheap-o price sticker is still there."

You may need to work it a few more times until it comes out satisfactory. A quick note about folding on the crease is that sometimes the first page will try to follow with it (as seen in the following picture.) That's fine. It's really up to you whether to include it in the folding process or not. I prefer something of a hybrid, since not including it could cause it to try and tear free of the glue, but I don't include it so much that the page gets bent.


For some reason you suddenly feel like drinking a Pepsi...

You'll know you have a good bend when the pages want to stay that way to an extent. Don't worry about ruining the book so that it sticks like that. If you keep on a shelf or put some weight on it, it will eventually regain its kept-closed shape, but the crease will be handy for when you open it again.


Airplane noises are mandatory.

Most importantly, when you reach the middle of the book, the place most likely to cause cracks in the spine, the folded-out creases will be in a better shape to help support the book being open while maintaining the spine.


 

Not all books will have this crease. You primarily find it on comics and manga, but with paperbacks it's a 50/50 chance.

 

Also, random facts about my book of choice for this post: Oh my Goddess! is actually a mistranslation, running on the assumption that it was a pun-like title of the phrase "Oh my God." The Japanese symbol for the "Oh" in the title is actually more of an "Ah." When the manga was reprinted later it was more correctly titled Ah! My Goddess. So these days you can find the manga and the anime as both the Oh and Ah format.

 

In the manga and anime of Oh! My Goddess the three goddesses that are primary to the story are Beldandy, Urd, and Skuld. It was only within the last year that I figured out they are based on Norse Goddesses. Uror (past), Veroandi (present), and Skuld (future).

 

My brain is wasted on processing information like that.

Books I read in 2012 (Spoiler Free!)

It's March but, since I'm scheduling these ahead of time it could be December 2012 for all you guys know (okay January 12th)

January 12th 2078 that is!

I decided to take a cue from the lovely and talented Cynthia Hand's blog (found here no seriously why are you still reading this you should totally be reading her blog instead ) and make a list of books I read from the year 2012. This is, by no means, an exhaustive list. I read quite a few older books (like Mistborn not too long ago) but this will be just books published in 2012.



She hardly looks 17, amirite?

The Calling, by Kelly Armstrong.

It's a sequel to The Gathering, and is meant to be a trilogy (Darkness Rising). It, in turn, was a sequel trilogy to the Darkest Powers trilogy (The Summoning, The Awakening, The Reckoning) Both read pretty much the same, but the trilogy that includes The Calling is a little bit better, the main character actually going out and getting things done rather than pacing a proverbial room wringing her hands until bad things come to her to cause trouble. It's slow and, like all middle books in a trilogy, mainly a filler book. The characters are hard to remember. I found myself totally lost between reading The Gathering and The Calling a year later. I decided to prepare ahead of time for The Rising and made a list of cast with little descriptions for them as I read the second book.

Prettiest covers of 2012, that's for sure!

Anna Dressed in Blood and Girl of Nightmares by Kendare Blake

I'm going to cheat a bit here. Technically Anna Dressed in Blood was published late 2011, but I picked up my copy used only a few months ago, and it's only a duet. I totally devoured Anna Dressed in Blood, it's a fantastic YA story that casts a boy as the protagonist (which, to me, seems to be rather rare). It's all about ghost hunting and action. There's barely any lovey dovey in the story and, what little there is, is so sleight that I didn't even notice it. Anna Dressed in blood takes you on a roller coaster ride of awesome, then parks you right where you wanted to be. It tells a story, gets the job done, then has a satisfying ending.

Oh...Girl of Nightmares, you're still here, aren't you?

When I finished Anna Dressed in Blood I was a little hesitant to pick up the sequel. Anna ended that well. It didn't need a sequel, so I was worried it would be forced. Unfortunately, it was. The characters plod around for a boring 300-something pages and, in the last 30, it gets really interesting and then ends. If anything, Girl of Nightmares causes bumps and biffs in the story's ending that Anna Dressed in Blood had smoothed out so well. So, in a nutshell, I suggest Anna Dressed in Blood, but I'd avoid Girl of Nightmares if you want a good, standalone story with a fulfilling conclusion.


This cover is symbolic of my hopeless frustration now.

Cold Days by Jim Butcher

You didn't think we would get through without Cold Days, did you? Not after all that trouble! Hahahahaha! If you've read about my previous Hulk-like, tear-stained, multi-book escapades involving being able to read Cold Days, then you should know the weight of what I say right here: It was worth it. I was a little disappointed in Ghost Story, and worried that the series was starting to jump the shark but Cold Days renewed my faith in the Dresden Files. Better yet, despite the amazing twists and turns and reveals, the ending left me sitting happier than Ghost Story and Changes did when it comes to waiting for the next book. Which is a really good thing because I've been hearing rumors of Jim setting aside Dresden for now in favor of whipping up a Steampunk novel. Of which I will then immediately snatch up...


...caressing it sweetly in a manner that can only be
described by Luis Royo.

Sorry, no "dead" puns here.

Undead and Undermined, by MaryJanice Davidson

 This book is what jumping the shark in a series is all about. Actually Undead and Unfinished, the previous book, was where it started. You know it's pretty bad when even the author admits it in a foreword but with a little "hang in there!" No, Ms. Davidson, you don't do that to your readers. If you're apologizing and telling readers to wait something out, then you're doing something wrong. The hilarity that sucked me into the series in the first place is dead and these last two books have been the smell of the decaying corpse. Maybe I'll take it back if Undead and Unstable manages to wow me, but I collect these in mass market paperbacks, rather than hardbacks, so it's going to be a little while before I have news.


The shiny is lacking in this pic

 

Hallowed, by Cynthia Hand

 

I already mentioned here how amazing the Unearthly series is. Hallowed is the second book in the series and I'm waiting eagerly for the final book. It's got heart but isn't gag-inducing like most young adult romance books (especially in the paranormal genre). Of course, for many of the same reasons, I cannot recommend this book to guys.



Rawr, and stuff.



Wereworld: Rise of the Wolf by Curtis Jobling

"Never judge a book by its cover" is pretty appropriate in this circumstance. I actually held back on getting this book because of the pure cheese pouring forth from the cover and waited until paperback in the hopes that maybe they'd change it. They didn't, so I shrugged and decided to give it a try.

I'm glad I did. There's been something missing in my literary life since the Ranger's Apprentice series by John Flanagan wrapped up, and Jobling managed to fill that hole pretty well. It's another good book for boys (and girls sick of the kissy romance stuff) that has plenty of action. The only thing that bugs me is that the image below is the cover they scrapped in favor for the one above when they started selling it in the United States.


Reading upside down? No problem!



I not only would have bought it right away, I'd have been salivating the entire time.

 

 

 

Team Human by Justine Larbalestier and Sarah Rees Brennan

 

I'd been looking forward to this one for a while, based on the title alone. It turned out good, not absolutely amazing, but good. If you hate the whole vampsplosion in books thanks to Twilight, then I'll admit you won't find any solace in reading Team Human. Instead, it is its own unique spin on a vampire story. Vampires are known to the world at large, and wear something like space suits when they go out during the day time, and one of the vampires has an adopted human brother named Kitten. Named so because of how the vampire feel he's more of a pet than anything else. There's no love triangle and the book makes you laugh a bit. If you like vampire stories and want something new and refreshing, give this one a try.

 

 

So Silver Bright by Lisa Mantchev

 

The Theature Illuminata trilogy came to a close with So Silver Bright. I'd gone back and forth with Eyes Like Stars (the first book) for a couple of years before deciding to give it a try. I had absolutely no idea what was going on, though I kind of liked it. The second book promised the same, and the third?...more of the same. I'd hoped that So Silver Bright would clear up a lot in the strange story, but from beginning to end I'd just gone "I have no idea what is going on" the entire time. It's possible that I would have to know Shakespere to really get an appreciation for a lot of it, but otherwise it felt incredibly confusing in some places, downright irritating in others. While there was a love triangle, it's a terrible example, because I knew wholeheartedly who she would end up with. Love triangles shouldn't be like that.

 

 

 

Nevermore by James Patterson

 

I already made my opinion very clear.

 

 

Across the Universe and A Million Suns by Beth Revis

 

Holy cow.

 

Across the Universe is a book that attracted me by the cover. I've seen alternate covers and, not only would I have not paid attention, I would have outright avoided the book. Because it was science fiction-y looking in its cover, it attracted my hamster-span attention long enough to read the description, of which gained my interest even further. I only got a few chapters in before my dad got hold of it and devoured the thing. I'd been hoping to wait a month or two for A Million Suns to come out in paperback before buying it, but it apparently was too long for my dad, so now I have non-matching formats of a series (gah!) though, admittedly, I'm glad that I'll get to read Shades of Earth (the final book of the trilogy) soon. This series really wowed me, start to finish. I can honestly say that because it actually wraps up pretty well as just a duet, but it still really leaves you wanting more. Science fiction, especially in the YA/teen section, is really hard to find. Good YA/teen science fiction is nearly impossible. This is one of those few books that makes me freak out a little at the thought that I had nearly missed out on it. It's that good.

 

 

Divergent and Insurgent, by Veronica Roth

 

As I'm going through my list I'm having a hard time, because one book keeps trumping the other. I was loaned a copy of Divergent and didn't even manage to finish it before I had decided I needed a copy of my own. Afterwards I only had to wait a month for the sequel, Insurgent, to come out. This series has everything you'd ever want: train-jumping, dystopia, mind control, action, adventure, awesome, depth, and, best of all, the lack of a love triangle. Since then I've been tearing my hair out waiting for the third book. This is the beautiful sister of Hunger Games and Uglies both. If there's any book in this list that I could recommend to everyone I know, it'd have to be this one.

 

And so, if I had to rate all 11 of these books for 2012 I'd make it as this:

 

1. Divergent

2. Cold Days

3. Across the Universe

4. Hallowed

5. Wereworld

6. Anna Dressed in Blood

7. Team Human

8. The Calling

9. So Silver Bright

10. (several blank spaces)

11. Watching paint dry

12. Watching a dog chase his tail

13. Watching a dog watch paint dry.

14. Undead and Undermined

15. Nevermore

 

 



Book Sizes Part 2

Book Sizes in paperback are a lot trickier than even hardback. It used to be that I would only include three sizes: mass market, paperback #1, and paperback #2, but it seems as though things have expanded somewhat and I will be including two others (Tall Standard Paperback will barely be mentioned and only included in the second picture.)

Here's a picture of each typical paperback. I'm going to explain right to left, since I want to go from small to big. Had I thought of that at the time of the picture taking, I would have arranged them in that order. I also could have just flipped the image, but I'm going to assume you're not a gullible audience and would easily notice the flipped titles. (Once again I apologize for certain book examples.)

"Which examples in particular?" you ask. "How can I hear you through my computer screen?" I reply.

Undead and Unwelcome is your standard mass market paperback. These used to generally be what everything looked like when it was in paperback, unless the book was really huge. I just call these mass market paperbacks (or Mass PB in my records). Mass market paperbacks measure 6 3/4 tall by 4 1/2 deep.

Princeps' Fury is what I call a Tall Mass Market Paperback. I've been collecting the Codex Alera series in the standard mass market and didn't realize I'd gotten book 5 in Tall until after I got home (it has bugged me ever since.) I didn't even realize a Tall format of mass market existed until Princep's Fury, and have seen several since then. Tall Mass PB measure 7 1/2 tall by 4 1/2 deep (the same depth as a normal mass market)

It used to be that mass market paperbacks were all that really existed in paperbacks, hardbacks being released as mass market paperbacks a year later, with only the most massive page-spanning epics being a larger size (though I have seen the large story Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind in mass market paperback, and it's not pretty.) In the last 10 or 15 years there has been an explosion of other sizes. I think the Young Adult market helped a lot with that, since teens are generally going to buy cheaper books (and have cheaper books bought for them) so larger, more attention-grabbing paperbacks were made. These days there seems to be a book released in hardback, then in paperback a year later, and finally mass market paperback.

Normally I wouldn't have included the size format of The Lightning Thief, but I have been seeing it more often. I have yet to have a name for it, but I am leaning towards a Short Paperback. Short Paperback measures 7 1/2 tall by 5 1/4 deep (the same height as a Tall mass market.)

The Forest of Hands and Teeth is what I like to call Paperback Size #1. It measures 8 tall by 5 1/4 deep (and what bugs me about it is that the next two books in the trilogy then switched to PB #2)

Hex Hall, meanwhile, is Paperback Size #2. It measures 8 1/4 tall by 5 1/2 deep.

So here they are all together. Left to right each one stepping down in height: Tall Paperback, Paperback #2, Paperback #1, Short Paperback, Tall Mass Market, and Standard Mass Market.